Today marks the third week of our series entitled "Blueprints for building the home." We’ve looked at what God’s original plan for the family is from Genesis 2:24. Praise God we have a plan! We’ve also looked at the source of outside threats to the family in Ephesians 6:10-18: our adversary.

This morning I want to focus on the three primary roles that have been assigned to the family by God. In other words—we’ll be talking about the father, mother, and the child. It’s important that we look at each one of these roles individually because—just as the modern family revisionists seek to change the overall make-up of the traditional family unit…they likewise want to change the role each person has been given to fulfill. Institute a new and improved plan. From the Scripture passage I want us to see that God’s plan is more than sufficient and all that is required from us, as His workers…is to follow His plan.

Before we begin to examine what our individual roles are—let’s consider for a moment where these particular roles originated. The Bible says in Genesis 1:27-28, “ God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them. God blessed them and said to them, ’Be fruitful and multiply.” When I read this it says to me—that God had a plan and a purpose for mankind. Marriage (2:24) and then children (v28)…we call it family. Not "kinship preferences".

1. The roles we are originally assigned.

The first two roles are found in verse 27 of Genesis 1. Male and female. Some are given the role of a man and some are given the role of a woman. The third role is implied in the phrase fruitful and multiply found in verse 28…a child.

None of us here today had any input into what role God was going to assign to us. At times people say they wish they were a man or a woman…but the truth is you are what you were assigned.

Here’s a thought to consider. If all the energy and effort that has gone into trying to reinvent or redesign the person God created—was redirected into how we can better serve and honor Him as the person He did create…how much better of would the world be?

2. The assignments within our roles.

As we look at this passage from Ephesians—it’s easy to see that God has 3 distinct roles for 3 distinct individuals. It’s the relationship among these 3 that I want to focus on today. Paul begins with a statement about mutual submission in verse 21 because there’s a sense of mutual submission required in all relationships. For example—there is a sense in which Jesus submits to the Father (Phil. 2:5-8, Mat. 26:29).

Definition of submit: The Greek word hypotasso, translated here as submit…means subordination to those considered worthy of respect. As Christians we submit to civil authorities, to church leaders, to parents and so on. Placing ourselves under subjection to those who are worthy is not as evil as some would like to project. As a matter of fact—it’s Biblical.

So—what is Paul saying to us here about respect for roles in the family? Let me give you a short answer to that question with a quote from John Piper…”The roles…in marriage are not arbitrarily assigned and they are not reversible without obscuring God’s purpose for marriage.” A sovereign God made the assignments.

A longer answer is found in our Scripture passage this morning:

A. Wife

If you are a wife—submit to your husband as to the Lord (v22). By doing so you are demonstrating your obedience to your marriage vow, and at the same time, honoring the Lord. Paul is clear about the fact that God has designed into the family a hierarchical structure. The husband is the head of the wife, he says—and if you are a woman that is married you have been assigned to the role of submission. This doesn’t mean that you are inferior, insignificant, incapable, ignorant, or inept. It simply means as a wife you have an assignment to fulfill in obedience to the Lord. And—just as the church is expected to submit to Christ…you’re expected to submit to your husband.

B. Husband

If you are a husband—love your wife, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her (v25). Just as one word summed up the role of the wife (submit)—notice also, one word sums up the role of the husband…love. Paul’s not talking about just any kind of love here either. He didn’t use the Greek verb (eros) which speaks of sexual passion. He didn’t use the Greek verb (philia) which speaks of family affection either. He used the Greek verb (agapate) ‘to insist that the love of a Christian man for his wife must be a response to and an expression of the love of God in Christ extended to the church.’ Ex: Eph. 5:2…guys love is mentioned 6 times here in our role (vv25-32).

C. Children

If you’re a child—obey your parents in the Lord…for this is right (6:1). Paul is speaking here under the direction of the Holy Spirit—therefore, all of us as children…need to listen closely. He says obedience is the right thing to do here in verse 1—and in Col. 3:20 he says…it pleases the Lord. Do you want to please the Lord? Paul goes on to say that children are to honor their parents. To honor your parents here in verse 2 means more than just obeying…it also means to respect them for who they are in God’s family plan. 

Paul mentions 3 distinct roles here in the family and we’re expected to respect those roles if we are going to be pleasing to God.

3. The application of our assigned roles.

Paul mentions the relationship in the family has an element of mystery to it (v32). A mystery that has been revealed in the relationship between Christ and the church. What does he mean by that?

When Jesus fulfilled the role assigned to Him by the Father the church benefited. As He loved the church, lead the church, protected the church, and provided for the church…we were blessed through His obedience. I believe the same thing can be said for the family. In the family each of us has been assigned a role as well. The question is, “Are we willing to commit to the assignment given to us?” Can we see our role as a blessing and a benefit…instead of a burden?  

We’re told in John 8:29 that Jesus always does what pleases the father. And here in this passage Paul cites Jesus as our example to follow. Therefore—if we want to please the Father, like Jesus…we have to honor and respect the family role He assigned to us.

Now—I’m not trying to imply that this will be easy. It will involve work. But—the good news this morning is…God has given His workers a person to lead and a plan to follow…Amen.