Three principles that should serve us well in fulfilling our responsibilities for keeping watch over the home.

1. We must watch the way in which we live. [5:15-16]

2. We must watch out for who's leading. [5:17-18]

3. We must watch the way we express love. [5:19-21]  

Over the last three weeks we’ve been talking about Blueprints for building the home. Thus far we’ve learned that the family has been created by design. The architect being God Himself. We’ve talked about outside threats to our families. We’ve discovered that God assigned roles for each of us within the family and they’re to be respected.

Today—we want to talk about keeping watch over the home. Surely if God has spent time in designing and planning the home…there will be some expectations on those who live there. It was the Palmist who gave us the example of building a home and the concept of those who live there…laboring in vain if the Lord (architect) is not consulted as to how the work should be done (Ps. 127).

Therefore—if the walls are up and the roof is on so to speak…how can we insure that the maintenance required for the home will be faithfully done? Who will be responsible for keeping watch over the home? In Ephesians 5 and into chapter 6 we find several verses of scripture that deals directly with the various responsibilities within the family. This morning I want to draw from this passage 3 principles that should serve us well in fulfilling each of our responsibilities for keeping watch over the home.

1. We must watch the way in which we live. [5:15-16]

Paul goes on to say in verse 15—not as unwise…but as wise, making the most of every opportunity. This speaks of knowledge, plus experience…wisdom. In order for us to effectively watch over the home we have been given—we will be required to exercise some wisdom. This is easier said than done—there are plenty of people and influences in our society that are opposed to simply living wisely. They prefer spontaneous, free.

We also need to know—living a life of wisdom is not something that happens by accident. Nor—does becoming a Christian automatically mean that you’re wise. Proverbs 9:10 says, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” Salvation provides the resource of wisdom through the presence of God’s Holy Spirit…but Peter reminds us that we are to be involved in gaining wisdom by ‘growing in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ’ (II Peter 3:18).

There’s no pill to take or patch to apply to our body that will instantaneously provide wisdom. Paul says we are to make the most of every opportunity—or in other words…use what time we have well and live wisely. Watching the way I live in a wise manner would include things like—the books I read, the things I watch, the people I associate with, the things I do and so on. The point Paul is making here in verse 15 really started back in 4:1, “I urge you to live a life worthy of the…”

There’s no doubt that Paul is talking about relationships here in chapters 4-6. How –we as Christians, are to relate with each other in the church, in the community, and especially in our families. The question at this point might be something like this, “How can we keep watch over the relationships that Paul is talking about here in these chapters?” Because—we know these relationships will affect our homes.

2. We must watch out for who's leading. [5:17-18]

Let’s look again at what Paul says in verses 17-18…read. Paul continues with the “not…but’ contrast here. The contrast between not being drunk on wine—but being filled with the Spirit has to do with who’s in control of our actions. When someone is drunk—they’re not in control…Amen. The presence of alcohol has taken over.

When Larry Mahoney drove his truck northbound on the southbound lane of I71 back in May of 1988…alcohol was in control of his actions. The result was – 27 lives changed forever. I believe Paul’s saying—don’t allow some foreign substance control what you do. In the same way—don’t allow some strange teaching to control your life either (Col. 2:8). We are to be filled with the Spirit. Therefore—we should allow the Spirit of God who dwells in the heart of every believer (I Cor. 3:16) have complete control of our lives. Spirit filled people—led by the Spirit…should have Spirit filled homes.

I suppose the question for us is this, “Who or what is going to have control over our lives and our homes? Some of the people Paul had written to came out of a religion that used wine to get drunk in order to get close to their god. We don’t need to get drunk in order to get close to our God because He lives within our heart.

You can’t get much closer than that…Amen. The reason we must watch out for who’s leading is because we have an adversary who uses things like strange teaching and foreign substances to deceive us into thinking they will help us get closer to God. Not true! This is why we need to, “trust in the Lord with all our heart, (where the Spirit lives by the way) and lean not on our own understanding; and in all our ways acknowledge Him…He will make our paths straight” (Prov. 3:5-6).

Not only will He keep our path straight, but He’ll also help us choose the right things to bring in to our homes. Things worth reading and watching. He’ll help us choose the right people to associate with and the right things to do with them based on wisdom…not on a whim.  

3. We must watch the way we express love. [5:19-21]  

As believers—we’re commanded to love one another (John 15:12). The fact that we can truly express love for others demonstrates that we belong to Christ. Paul mentions here in verses 19-21 a sure way we can all express our love. It’s through music. Notice what he says in verse 19—speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Then he says, sing and make music in your heart to the Lord.

Now I must confess—Becky has never been overly impressed with my singing ability. But praise the Lord—now she knows it’s an expression of love…Amen. The Lord also knows that, that’s why when I sing, and it sounds like nothing more than joyful noise…to Him, it’s an expression of love. The love for Him that’s in my heart.

Church—we come into this world with a heart that has a tendency to love no one but ourselves. The consequence of this is a home often filled with tension. This is why we have to keep watch over how true love is modeled within the home.

Husbands—we’ve been assigned the role of a loving leader. The example we model is the love that Christ has for the church. Purity, protection, provision and so on.

Wives—you’ve been assigned the role of loving support. You model this through placing yourself under the authority of your husband…and by doing this you are expressing your love for the Lord (v21-24).

Children—you’ve been commanded to obey and honor your parents. This is the best way to express your love.

When we follow God’s plan for the family—people in the church see this, people in the community see this, those within the family see this…it’s then the light of Christ shines through us (v8). 

If love is not properly modeled in the home it will not be properly expressed in the church or in the community either. As we keep watch over the home God has given us—we must do so wisely. Our lifestyle has consequences. Your children are watching and they’ll pay close attention to what’s important to you. Others are watching to see if your walk and talk match up. As we watch over the home God has given us—we have to be sure that the right One is leading us in all our decisions.

When you give your heart to Jesus—He’ll send the Holy Spirit to live with you and His role is to mold you and shape you into the image of God’s Son. A child who always made the right decisions. As we watch over the home God has given us—we to express the love of to at all times and in all places. By this all men will know you are My disciples, if you love one another (John 13:35).